To Bikram or not to Bikram?

Wow, I'm glad that's over.  I stepped out in the sunshine filled afternoon and let the cool breeze fill my body in a way that I'm pretty sure has never, ever felt so relieving.  Good god, it had been so hot in there.  The last time I attended a Bikram class was about 5 years ago.  This was long (about 1 whole year) before my life path really had aligned with the Practice.  I had hated it.  I swore swore swore I would not return.  The pushing and sweating and harshness did not appeal to me.  I could not relate to the alignment principles; "Lock out your knees!", "Feel the pain sensation!"... What?!  So I let it go.

I tried some Anusara style classes with the "Melt your heart!  Melt your heart more! No moooorrreeeee!"  Jesus I thought my rhomboids would go into full and unstoppable spasm at any moment...

Then, I found vinyasa flow.  I moved through the postures and though they were difficult and I was inflexible I had amazing teachers whose subtle alignment clues brought me home.  They repaired the division in my body and mind.  I became more flexible and with that, my life began to change.  I moved out of old holding patterns, both physically and mentally.  I burned away samskara, so literally that I have now found a fast-track pace toward the almighty "purpose in life".  (There is a very faint hint of sarcasm here, but only in the most joyous manner.)

Now, back to the question -- To Bikram or not to Bikram? -- I returned to Bikram after 5 years of swearing it off both to myself and those around me.  But, the questions have come up over and over lately.  What, Danielle, do you think of locking out your knees?  Why so hot in there?  What about this and that Bikram posture?  Well, hmmm.  I'm not quite sure.  I disagree with this and that and the other thing about Bikram, but do I really know??  Can I say to my fellow shishya that I really understand?  There is always understanding on a deeper level.  There is always this magic, this "a-ha" moment that arises out of almost anything.  Even if something doesn't quite resonate with you, this is no reason to cast it aside and judge, n'est-ce pas?

The first two principles which resonated with me from yoga philosophy were NON-JUDGEMENT and NON-ATTACHMENT.  So in order to rid my judgement from my opinion about Bikram philosophy, I have stepped through the doors of hell... to find the doors of perception.  I signed up today for an intro-one-month-unlimited, winner-takes-all Bikram pass.  The only way to know is to dive right in I suppose.  I will need desperately, more than ever to supplement my life with my vinyasa practice so that I may remain grounded and open to this new endeavor.  And, who knows maybe even without long flowing lines of energy and vinyasa to rinse and regroup,  I will still feel the profoundness of the world around me after a Bikram yoga class.

We'll all be shishya together!!